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Don't.
[It comes out without thinking, and she regrets it, kind of. She wants to be alone, doesn't she? (The answer is no. She's been almost entirely alone ever since Naga died. She's blown off work, blown off Chekov, blown off everything. And whether she wants to admit it or not, it's having its toll.)
She's still not looking up.]
Please?
[It comes out without thinking, and she regrets it, kind of. She wants to be alone, doesn't she? (The answer is no. She's been almost entirely alone ever since Naga died. She's blown off work, blown off Chekov, blown off everything. And whether she wants to admit it or not, it's having its toll.)
She's still not looking up.]
Please?
[ The Please feels as if something small and hard has hit him in the small of the back, a pebble sharply flung. He shivers to his finger's ends, and represses it in the same breath. ]
[ For all his games -- the roughness and the mind-frags and the hot things on skin -- Hei is never all that comfortable with real closeness. Not that he's a coward -- he keeps the vigil. He doesn't harrumph and walk off like a lot of men, doesn't pretend like it isn't happening. But he keeps his distance, because this sort of pain is something he knows about intimately, and has never liked. Part of him can't help but think -- It's so fucked up. Korra, asking a killer for comfort. The same one who'd slaughtered her pet. Eerie, how you get so used to having somebody in your life, so comfortable with what little they have to offer, that no matter how lacking, or how jacked up it is, you don't know how to let it go. ]
[ It doesn't matter. He's selfish, and he'll snatch anything warm -- no matter how damaged or storm-tossed -- to consume for himself. Exhausted, confused, steeped in a peculiar self-loathing of his own. But selfish, first and foremost. ]
[ She looks so small and fragile, against Naga's massive whiteness. He approaches her sideways, leery of the animal's reaction. Hesitates, for just a moment, before closing the gap between them, wrapping his arms tight around her. The sky is dark, moonless, and Hei buries his face in Korra's thick, sweet-smelling hair, swaying a bit as if they're together on a dancefloor at the Crazy Mongoose, the night's crowd disintegrating to nothing around them. He doesn't talk. He just absorbs the tenuous tenderness in himself, and hopes it won't break too soon. ]
[ For all his games -- the roughness and the mind-frags and the hot things on skin -- Hei is never all that comfortable with real closeness. Not that he's a coward -- he keeps the vigil. He doesn't harrumph and walk off like a lot of men, doesn't pretend like it isn't happening. But he keeps his distance, because this sort of pain is something he knows about intimately, and has never liked. Part of him can't help but think -- It's so fucked up. Korra, asking a killer for comfort. The same one who'd slaughtered her pet. Eerie, how you get so used to having somebody in your life, so comfortable with what little they have to offer, that no matter how lacking, or how jacked up it is, you don't know how to let it go. ]
[ It doesn't matter. He's selfish, and he'll snatch anything warm -- no matter how damaged or storm-tossed -- to consume for himself. Exhausted, confused, steeped in a peculiar self-loathing of his own. But selfish, first and foremost. ]
[ She looks so small and fragile, against Naga's massive whiteness. He approaches her sideways, leery of the animal's reaction. Hesitates, for just a moment, before closing the gap between them, wrapping his arms tight around her. The sky is dark, moonless, and Hei buries his face in Korra's thick, sweet-smelling hair, swaying a bit as if they're together on a dancefloor at the Crazy Mongoose, the night's crowd disintegrating to nothing around them. He doesn't talk. He just absorbs the tenuous tenderness in himself, and hopes it won't break too soon. ]
[Naga tenses, and her growls rise in volume, but Korra presses harder against her and murmurs soothing nonsense...or perhaps it's more accurate to say, pleading nonsense. She understands why Naga doesn't like Hei, why she'd be upset, but she doesn't want him to go. Please let me have this.
And because Naga loves her, and because she doesn't sense any impending violence in Hei's manner, the polar bear dog goes quiet.
Korra shivers when he wraps his arms around her. He's holding her too tightly to wipe the tears off of her face, but she manages to turn herself so that she can bury her head against his chest and wrap her arms around him. (Naga carefully butts her head against Korra's back, encouraging the humans to go somewhere else.)]
And because Naga loves her, and because she doesn't sense any impending violence in Hei's manner, the polar bear dog goes quiet.
Korra shivers when he wraps his arms around her. He's holding her too tightly to wipe the tears off of her face, but she manages to turn herself so that she can bury her head against his chest and wrap her arms around him. (Naga carefully butts her head against Korra's back, encouraging the humans to go somewhere else.)]
[ Hei ignores Naga's growls as they rumble through the air, like an idling engine. His eyes slip shut, and he breathes in that familiar Korra-smell, mingled with his own anxious sweat and the staleness of insomnia, clinging to his hair and skin. She doesn't have to hide her face; he knows she's crying. Can practically feel her sub-rosa sobbing, like a ghostly rime swirling in the air. It makes him squeeze her tighter. Because it's so wonderful to be in her arms, he can scarcely believe it. The idea of any contact, making his skin go hot, making his throat close like this. ]
[ When Naga nudges Korra, he gets the message. Steers her away, to the backdoor of the Beach House. He doesn't go inside. Just settles at the front step, nestling Korra against him. He stays like that for a while, just holding her. Dips his head, and kisses her brow, then her salt-damp cheek. Then her brow again. She smells so good, like the bright, tangled aroma of greenery blooming wild in the heat. A voice in his head cautions, Don't, but it's in Mandarin instead of Portuguese or English, which confuses him. As if, for a moment, the layers of facade have stripped away to reveal the outline of his basic self. It feels as freeing as it is disorienting. He kisses her webbed eyelids, then presses his mouth full and soft to hers. ]
[ Not a demand for anything more. Just to reacquaint himself with her heat and flavor, and perhaps to soothe that high-pitched clamoring under his own skin. ]
[ When Naga nudges Korra, he gets the message. Steers her away, to the backdoor of the Beach House. He doesn't go inside. Just settles at the front step, nestling Korra against him. He stays like that for a while, just holding her. Dips his head, and kisses her brow, then her salt-damp cheek. Then her brow again. She smells so good, like the bright, tangled aroma of greenery blooming wild in the heat. A voice in his head cautions, Don't, but it's in Mandarin instead of Portuguese or English, which confuses him. As if, for a moment, the layers of facade have stripped away to reveal the outline of his basic self. It feels as freeing as it is disorienting. He kisses her webbed eyelids, then presses his mouth full and soft to hers. ]
[ Not a demand for anything more. Just to reacquaint himself with her heat and flavor, and perhaps to soothe that high-pitched clamoring under his own skin. ]
[She feels stupid, on his lap like she's a little kid. He kisses her face all over and she wants to push it into something familiar, hot and distracting and mindless. But she can't. She's too sad and too tired. Long days of hard physical work and short nights of poor sleep are taking their toll. She kisses him back when he reaches her lips, but it's not an invitation -- just a grateful acceptance of comfort.]
[ There's a tremor, bubbling just under Hei's skin, when she kisses back. It takes him a moment to recognize what it is. Gratitude. He didn't come here for comfort. As terrible as he is at offering it, he's a thousand times worse at accepting it. The kiss is hot, soft, damp, possessing a lovely feverishness, but that isn't really the point. The touch isn't sensual; it's just that. A touch, graphic in its sheer, snatching physicality. He's not sure if he's trying to reach Korra or just trying to reach anything. He doesn't know how she can respond to someone like him. But he's too busy leaning in, angling his chin as his lips skim hers. Touch, flutter, retreat. Repeat. It was the way he'd kissed her the first time, in that creaky shed with its flickering lightulb. But this time it's not voltage-hot. Just tender, a little unsure maybe, but welcoming the excuse to close the lid on his unnerving array of thoughts. ]
[ He keeps the kiss going for a long time. Breaks it, at last, to tuck her head in the crook of his neck. He's done this with her so seldom. Has always resented any intimacy, has kept a lid on all softness. Refused the few questions she dared put to him over the course of their head-on collision affair. And who knows if this interlude is an apology, or a genuine act of warmth. But Hei's voice is calm and quiet, his thumb rubbing small circles into the indent above Korra's hipbone. ]
I'll stay until you go to sleep.
[ It's many things. An offer, a request, an assurance, and perhaps a promise. ]
[ He keeps the kiss going for a long time. Breaks it, at last, to tuck her head in the crook of his neck. He's done this with her so seldom. Has always resented any intimacy, has kept a lid on all softness. Refused the few questions she dared put to him over the course of their head-on collision affair. And who knows if this interlude is an apology, or a genuine act of warmth. But Hei's voice is calm and quiet, his thumb rubbing small circles into the indent above Korra's hipbone. ]
I'll stay until you go to sleep.
[ It's many things. An offer, a request, an assurance, and perhaps a promise. ]
[ He feels the vibrations of her voice, full of a tipsy sadness, muffled in his jacket shoulder. Can feel her breath through the fabric when she exhales. He passes his arms more securely around her, rocking her very slowly from side to side. It's what he'd do, sometimes, for Pai. Like during the night when she was too wired for rest, her bloodstream crackling with post-battle adrenaline. Or when there'd be bombs erupting nearby, rattling the ground and gnawing at even Hei's superheated concentration. He winces at a flash of recollection -- the sound of the shelling he'd experienced in South America, the blasts and rumbles that drove him to tuck Pai deeper into the crook of his arm as they lay in a pallet, a few miles from the action. ('Pretend it's a thunderstorm,' he'd always tell her. 'It can't hurt you.' '... Unless it hits you, Carmine would mutter, slouched dull-eyed in her corner. 'Then you won't feel anything,' Amber would say, arch and singsongy, peering past the tent flap into the explosions coloring the dark night.)
[ (A lie, of course. Nothing died painlessly. Even a limb that's long gone keeps hurting.) ]
[ He wonders if that's how Korra feels, in the wake of Naga's death and resurrection. He wants to ask, but what's the point? What's done is done. Cradling her against him, her hair tickling his cheek, he lets a hum of energy buzz from his skin instead, heating his clothes, suffusing Korra's cooler skin. Right now, he has to concentrate on fixing this mess. ]
[ By any means necessary. ]
[ (A lie, of course. Nothing died painlessly. Even a limb that's long gone keeps hurting.) ]
[ He wonders if that's how Korra feels, in the wake of Naga's death and resurrection. He wants to ask, but what's the point? What's done is done. Cradling her against him, her hair tickling his cheek, he lets a hum of energy buzz from his skin instead, heating his clothes, suffusing Korra's cooler skin. Right now, he has to concentrate on fixing this mess. ]
[ By any means necessary. ]
[She doesn't know how long they sit there, lost in feeling. Maybe even lost in thought, but she couldn't tell you what she was thinking about. Everything's in a fog.
But she does fall asleep, with a dull sense of sadness. It's easier to fall asleep against him than against Naga now; she's always preferred the warmth of a living body to even the softest and thickest blankets. But Naga's not warm anymore, and Korra remembers how lonely it was to always be cold.]
I have to help her.
[It's her last thought before falling asleep.]
But she does fall asleep, with a dull sense of sadness. It's easier to fall asleep against him than against Naga now; she's always preferred the warmth of a living body to even the softest and thickest blankets. But Naga's not warm anymore, and Korra remembers how lonely it was to always be cold.]
I have to help her.
[It's her last thought before falling asleep.]
[Chekov hasn't so much as heard from Korra since the nineteenth when Naga died at the hands of the monster-that-was-Hei that came perilously close to killing Lucy. He had looked for her at the Welcome Center; going to the Beach House had seemed... too desperate, almost, because he's always the one seeking her out to talk about things.
And the monster ordeal needs to be talked about. Both Chekov and Lucy came close to dying that night and, had Korra come with him like he had asked, it wouldn't have been such a one-sided fight. Although he understands her connection to Naga and the need to grieve, that was not the time. Any of his other friends--Sulu, Ginny, Harry--would have set their feelings aside long enough to fight with him. They wouldn't have let him go after a monster alone.
Being friends with Korra involves a lot of being alone. Chekov hadn't realized that until he had a decent number of other friends, but now, in retrospect, their friendship seems remarkably one-sided. He was always the one to apologize or offer comfort when someone left the City. It was always him.
The final straw was the balloon curse. Chekov had needed friends on that day more than any other day in the City and Korra hadn't been around.
He deserves better. Maybe he is being selfish, but Chekov's other friends give as much as they take and he doesn't want to continue nursing along an ailing friendship that's all taking. It's with this thought in mind that he approaches the Beach House, looking for Korra and Naga.]
And the monster ordeal needs to be talked about. Both Chekov and Lucy came close to dying that night and, had Korra come with him like he had asked, it wouldn't have been such a one-sided fight. Although he understands her connection to Naga and the need to grieve, that was not the time. Any of his other friends--Sulu, Ginny, Harry--would have set their feelings aside long enough to fight with him. They wouldn't have let him go after a monster alone.
Being friends with Korra involves a lot of being alone. Chekov hadn't realized that until he had a decent number of other friends, but now, in retrospect, their friendship seems remarkably one-sided. He was always the one to apologize or offer comfort when someone left the City. It was always him.
The final straw was the balloon curse. Chekov had needed friends on that day more than any other day in the City and Korra hadn't been around.
He deserves better. Maybe he is being selfish, but Chekov's other friends give as much as they take and he doesn't want to continue nursing along an ailing friendship that's all taking. It's with this thought in mind that he approaches the Beach House, looking for Korra and Naga.]
Edited 2013-10-28 23:54 (UTC)
[It's one thing to declare to yourself, two-thirds asleep, that you have to save your best friend. But it's not that easy to figure out how to bring her back from the dead when you're awake. She's been meditating on the subject for days, but honestly? The only thing she can think about is how desperately, painfully sad she is. It doesn't leave room for much else in her life.
Naga looks up as Chekov approaches, and lets out a friendly wuff to alert Korra to his presence. At first she's irritated at the interruption, but when she sees Chekov, it turns into a tired but almost happy smile.]
Hey. It's been awhile.
Naga looks up as Chekov approaches, and lets out a friendly wuff to alert Korra to his presence. At first she's irritated at the interruption, but when she sees Chekov, it turns into a tired but almost happy smile.]
Hey. It's been awhile.
[Any anger he might have been nursing vanishes when he sees the expression on Korra's face. It's one thing to express irritation towards someone who is already irritated; it's another to make someone who has apparently been unhappy even unhappier.
Chekov pets Naga, pleased to she her up and well (if not alive).]
It has, yes. I'm glad that October is done with. ...How are you?
Chekov pets Naga, pleased to she her up and well (if not alive).]
It has, yes. I'm glad that October is done with. ...How are you?
[He immediately feels bad for not trying harder to contact her.]
I went after the monster and it bit Lucy's neck. We made it run, but Lucy came very close to dying. [He doesn't know if Korra knows that the creature was Hei. That's Hei's revelation to make, not his.] I didn't tell you because I was upset that you did not help that night.
I went after the monster and it bit Lucy's neck. We made it run, but Lucy came very close to dying. [He doesn't know if Korra knows that the creature was Hei. That's Hei's revelation to make, not his.] I didn't tell you because I was upset that you did not help that night.
[He bit Lucy?! Korra wants to ask how she's doing, if she's okay, but then Chekov says You did not help that night, and her expression shutters closed in irritation.]
What did you expect me to do?
[Lucy at least survived the encounter. In case you haven't noticed, Naga died.]
What did you expect me to do?
[Lucy at least survived the encounter. In case you haven't noticed, Naga died.]
[There--there's the anger he needed, even if this feels wrong.]
I expected you to tell me where it went, at least, so maybe I would have found it before Lucy was hurt! I wanted you to come with me--to help me. If Lucy had not been coherent enough to shoot it, I would have been dead! [More gently, trying to cool himself down:] Naga was killed, I know, but there's nothing you can do for the dead when the living still need to be helped.
I expected you to tell me where it went, at least, so maybe I would have found it before Lucy was hurt! I wanted you to come with me--to help me. If Lucy had not been coherent enough to shoot it, I would have been dead! [More gently, trying to cool himself down:] Naga was killed, I know, but there's nothing you can do for the dead when the living still need to be helped.
And for that, you would be negligent enough to let others die?
[Maybe it's unfair, but he and Lucy nearly died! Who knows who else suffered? And this mindset, this grieving while lives are in danger, just isn't something that he understands.
(And it's not just that. Chekov has been irritated with Korra before--little things, mostly--but it has taken time for him to get annoyed enough to say something.)]
You would do anything for Naga. Is no one else important to you?
[Maybe it's unfair, but he and Lucy nearly died! Who knows who else suffered? And this mindset, this grieving while lives are in danger, just isn't something that he understands.
(And it's not just that. Chekov has been irritated with Korra before--little things, mostly--but it has taken time for him to get annoyed enough to say something.)]
You would do anything for Naga. Is no one else important to you?
[To be fair -- and neither of them are at the moment -- Korra wasn't herself at the time. Not just because of grief, but because of the Avatar state. (And monster Hei ran off really fast.)]
How can you say that? Of course other people are important to me! You're important to me!
How can you say that? Of course other people are important to me! You're important to me!
[This is not the kind of situation in which teenagers are likely to reasonable.]
Am I? If I had died instead of only being hurt that night, when would you have known? How long would it have taken you to notice that I was gone?
[Because of course now is a great time to voice general insecurities!]
Am I? If I had died instead of only being hurt that night, when would you have known? How long would it have taken you to notice that I was gone?
[Because of course now is a great time to voice general insecurities!]
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