[Does "aggressively not thinking about it" count as not harboring any illusions? She knows there's no future in this; she knows she wouldn't want a future with him anyway. She wants a real relationship, with affection and clear expectations and honesty, as opposed to this torrid mess of lies and secrets. She doesn't know how to separate what she wants from what she needs, what she can demand from him from what he simply cannot give.
The funny thing is, she can handle being alone emotionally, but sex is a lot harder to give up.
So she doesn't think about it. She keeps her attention on the physical: the feel of his lips, the mild burn of the wine going down her throat, their linked hands working on her breasts. The urgent ache she felt at the door is gone. Exhaustion, hot water, and that little bit of alcohol have made her…not sleepy, but languid, and this is about as close to cuddling as they've ever been. She can't help taking advantage of it.
But eventually, the jet stream's teasing builds up a need that cannot be ignored. Still slow, almost lazy, she slides their paired hands down her body. She gently presses his palm against her before encouraging one of his fingers to slide inside.]
action;
The funny thing is, she can handle being alone emotionally, but sex is a lot harder to give up.
So she doesn't think about it. She keeps her attention on the physical: the feel of his lips, the mild burn of the wine going down her throat, their linked hands working on her breasts. The urgent ache she felt at the door is gone. Exhaustion, hot water, and that little bit of alcohol have made her…not sleepy, but languid, and this is about as close to cuddling as they've ever been. She can't help taking advantage of it.
But eventually, the jet stream's teasing builds up a need that cannot be ignored. Still slow, almost lazy, she slides their paired hands down her body. She gently presses his palm against her before encouraging one of his fingers to slide inside.]