[ He envies her sometimes. Not for her naivety but for her in-the-momentness. With no past baggage goading her with expectations of disappointment and rue, she can luxuriate in the present, focus her mind on the pleasure to come. Whereas for him ... every other word or kiss is a minefield of ugly memory. It's why he keeps her at a distance even as he tries to be kind to her. ]
[ (17-year-old Hei wouldn't have bothered. To him, she'd have been a sweet lay on legs. That's all. Maybe if she'd proven to be a good fuck, he'd have thought, I'll keep you, but as a plaything. He'd never have respected her autonomy as a person -- let alone made the constant effort, as his 23-year old counterpart does, to be considerate.) ]
[ His breath catches at the sting of her nails, and he lets it out in a hum into their kiss. It's strange, the languor that's settled into his bones. It's not the wine or the absence of any tight schedules -- it's wanting to stay here, self-contained but otherwise happy to just share warmth. (Foolish doesn't come close to the level of recriminations buzzing in the back of his mind.) His spine bows as he eliminates any space between them, still holding himself off her, but feeling the press of her breasts against his chest as his pelvis rocks against hers. He's half-hard again already, his body eager for a redux even with the laziness curling around his edges. ]
action;
[ (17-year-old Hei wouldn't have bothered. To him, she'd have been a sweet lay on legs. That's all. Maybe if she'd proven to be a good fuck, he'd have thought, I'll keep you, but as a plaything. He'd never have respected her autonomy as a person -- let alone made the constant effort, as his 23-year old counterpart does, to be considerate.) ]
[ His breath catches at the sting of her nails, and he lets it out in a hum into their kiss. It's strange, the languor that's settled into his bones. It's not the wine or the absence of any tight schedules -- it's wanting to stay here, self-contained but otherwise happy to just share warmth. (Foolish doesn't come close to the level of recriminations buzzing in the back of his mind.) His spine bows as he eliminates any space between them, still holding himself off her, but feeling the press of her breasts against his chest as his pelvis rocks against hers. He's half-hard again already, his body eager for a redux even with the laziness curling around his edges. ]