[ Several weeks later, Hei is forced to admit it. It's my fault Korra's stupid dog is dead. ]
[ He's tried to give her space, monitoring her intermittently from his safehouse. Tried to let the nights and days blend together, a phantasmagoric rill of insomnia and manic activity. He focuses on recuperating from his post-curse injuries. Spends time with Pai -- taking care of her, whisking her off on outings, cooking her favorite meals -- because she's one of the few people he can be easy with anymore. Someone who doesn't sling sugary dollops of comfort at him. Who lets him be, who grounds him with the anchor of her quiet, miraculous presence. He stays up late and gets up early and takes a lot of walks -- sometimes hand in hand with Pai, sometimes alone. He works double shifts at the cafes. He throws himself into grueling jiu-jitsu workouts. At first, he assumes he's having control issues not so different from what drives people with eating disorders. Then he thinks it's some kind of mortality-denial thing, because if you can do six hours of nonstop matwork in an airless room, it must mean you're invincible. But as the workouts grow more intense, resulting in a series of minor injuries, Hei realizes what's really going on. ]
[ He's trying to punish himself. ]
[ At nights, in the Underground, fighting enemies is one of the few times he gives Korra conscious thought. Sometimes one of the creatures might remind him of her -- a dancelike kick, a whoosh of momentum, a flash of angry eyes -- and he'll think, Oh. He tries to give no name to his both mistakes and desires. Let them be countless and faceless. Let them die an anonymous death. But one day, he does name them, and isn't surprised to find Korra's initials somewhere in both whirlpools. ]
[ It's late at night when he visits the Beach House. The starless sky, like a blank expression, matches the one on his face. But inside him, there's a fizzle as if from sparked fuses. Dread. Nervousness. Self-doubt. Since they've met, he's gnawed so many holes into Korra's life, corrosive as acid. She's forgiven him for so many wounds. But this one... ]
[ Hei isn't sure it's something you can forgive. ]
Pick a date!!! :3
[ He's tried to give her space, monitoring her intermittently from his safehouse. Tried to let the nights and days blend together, a phantasmagoric rill of insomnia and manic activity. He focuses on recuperating from his post-curse injuries. Spends time with Pai -- taking care of her, whisking her off on outings, cooking her favorite meals -- because she's one of the few people he can be easy with anymore. Someone who doesn't sling sugary dollops of comfort at him. Who lets him be, who grounds him with the anchor of her quiet, miraculous presence. He stays up late and gets up early and takes a lot of walks -- sometimes hand in hand with Pai, sometimes alone. He works double shifts at the cafes. He throws himself into grueling jiu-jitsu workouts. At first, he assumes he's having control issues not so different from what drives people with eating disorders. Then he thinks it's some kind of mortality-denial thing, because if you can do six hours of nonstop matwork in an airless room, it must mean you're invincible. But as the workouts grow more intense, resulting in a series of minor injuries, Hei realizes what's really going on. ]
[ He's trying to punish himself. ]
[ At nights, in the Underground, fighting enemies is one of the few times he gives Korra conscious thought. Sometimes one of the creatures might remind him of her -- a dancelike kick, a whoosh of momentum, a flash of angry eyes -- and he'll think, Oh. He tries to give no name to his both mistakes and desires. Let them be countless and faceless. Let them die an anonymous death. But one day, he does name them, and isn't surprised to find Korra's initials somewhere in both whirlpools. ]
[ It's late at night when he visits the Beach House. The starless sky, like a blank expression, matches the one on his face. But inside him, there's a fizzle as if from sparked fuses. Dread. Nervousness. Self-doubt. Since they've met, he's gnawed so many holes into Korra's life, corrosive as acid. She's forgiven him for so many wounds. But this one... ]
[ Hei isn't sure it's something you can forgive. ]