[She needs this to define who she is, though. She needs the edges, the structure it provides. Otherwise who is she? A person who likes to fight? That describes about half the City's population. Take everything she knows about herself and she still could be just about anyone. It still doesn't tell her what to do with her life. Being a failure gives her a purpose -- to stop being a failure.
She doesn't actually realize any of this; that's a level of self-awareness she doesn't possess. All she knows is that his words make her cling tighter to her pain, as though she's afraid he'll take it away from her, like a doll that's gotten dirty. She hugs Naga's neck and breathes deeply, but the warm scent she's used to is cold & muted. Despite her best efforts, a few tears trickle down her face and into the polar bear dog's fur.]
no subject
She doesn't actually realize any of this; that's a level of self-awareness she doesn't possess. All she knows is that his words make her cling tighter to her pain, as though she's afraid he'll take it away from her, like a doll that's gotten dirty. She hugs Naga's neck and breathes deeply, but the warm scent she's used to is cold & muted. Despite her best efforts, a few tears trickle down her face and into the polar bear dog's fur.]