[She doesn't quite cut him off, but it's clear she isn't waiting for him to finish. She already knows he won't be able to. She can't believe he's said this much. She reaches out to tug him down with her, so that she's lying face to face with his arm wrapped around her waist.]
[ Come here? Hei's gaze flickers, as if confused. When she draws him in, he almost tenses at it. It's fucked up, how for a moment he's genuinely fucking terrified, and then Korra's hands slide around him, and she draws him into that lovely warm declivity her body's made in the mattress. He thinks about shoving her off, but doesn't. Just her proximity makes it harder for him to resist. He has no control. The arm around Korra's waist speaks of it, no matter how affectionate, how protective it might be. ]
[ But now that he's lying down, he feels heavy, his brain slow, but excited too, by being here, by acting as if this is just the normal thing they do. He lets the seconds tick by. Drops his head to Korra's, then, and sighs a long sigh, breathing in the smell of her hair, because something about that particular warm crisp scent speaks of a short but bright existence made out of beginnings and beginnings and beginnings until the final end, which is far away. ]
[ Ir feels -- not like freedom and not quite like flying. (He knows better than to think a single person will ever be able to fill that gap, except Pai.) But fuck if it isn't close, if every part of him wants to pull Korra tighter in and have a repeat performance of that ruined evening, again and again, with the fiercest kind of longing. ]
[ Instead, angling his head, he kisses her the way he's never done yet, soft and lingering. Not the way he used to kiss Amber. Just the way he kisses Korra. He tries to put into it all the warmth he'd once longed for for himself. That he can no longer find anywhere, since the sky fell around him and Pai. ]
[She kisses him back -- warm and soothing and contented. She tangles her legs in his and her fingers in his hair. It's tempting, so tempting, to push this forward.
Then Mocha, who had leapt off of the bed as soon as she started lying down, whines piteously, and Korra breaks the kiss with a little laugh.]
Mocha, be quiet.
[With another little whine, the dog jumps up onto the foot of the bed and curls up stubbornly. She contemplates kicking him off, but a glance out the window reminds her that she really should get some sleep. She has an early shift at the Welcome Center.
So instead, she presses another kiss to his lips.]
[ Hei does his best to ignore the stupid dog. Lets Korra curl against him instead, his body a warm bolster to fit herself against. He exhales, his breath tickling through her hair. Dips his head, melting into her kiss, and whispers against her parted lips, ]
All right.
[ The raspy words vibrate with a quiet trepidation, which he tries to force down. He lays a hand on her body, under her breasts; not a silent demand for anything more. Just for the contact. Listening to the steady cadence of her heartbeat, a strange thrill pulses through him, a peculiar closeness seeming to crackle darkly in the air between them, palpable even though he can't see Korra's face. He knows he ought to be wrapped around Pai, right now, sleeping the sleep of a well-fed, well-fought soldier. But for the past week, sleep has advanced and receded many times and finally pulled him down into a tense, trapped alertness. His dreams are grisly, phantasmagoric -- his mind containing fantastic netherworlds of bloodshed and sadism. They seep out in disturbing ways. Some night he awakens to find his hands curled loosely around Pai's neck, like she's an enemy. Other times, his eyes flutter open to find himself wrapped too-tightly around her, as if trying to protect her from a mortar blast. ]
[ He knows, with the secrecy of a premonition, that his nightmares are worsening. He's not sure why. But he doesn't tell Pai about it. Better to give her one less Hei-issue to puzzle out. ]
[ He won't sleep here, either. He knows that. Too risky. But it's enough to have Korra closeby. To scooch nearer, entwining their legs, and to parse out the tiny chemical changes fizzing around her, as she drops away in his arms. ]
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[She doesn't quite cut him off, but it's clear she isn't waiting for him to finish. She already knows he won't be able to. She can't believe he's said this much. She reaches out to tug him down with her, so that she's lying face to face with his arm wrapped around her waist.]
no subject
[ But now that he's lying down, he feels heavy, his brain slow, but excited too, by being here, by acting as if this is just the normal thing they do. He lets the seconds tick by. Drops his head to Korra's, then, and sighs a long sigh, breathing in the smell of her hair, because something about that particular warm crisp scent speaks of a short but bright existence made out of beginnings and beginnings and beginnings until the final end, which is far away. ]
[ Ir feels -- not like freedom and not quite like flying. (He knows better than to think a single person will ever be able to fill that gap, except Pai.) But fuck if it isn't close, if every part of him wants to pull Korra tighter in and have a repeat performance of that ruined evening, again and again, with the fiercest kind of longing. ]
[ Instead, angling his head, he kisses her the way he's never done yet, soft and lingering. Not the way he used to kiss Amber. Just the way he kisses Korra. He tries to put into it all the warmth he'd once longed for for himself. That he can no longer find anywhere, since the sky fell around him and Pai. ]
no subject
Then Mocha, who had leapt off of the bed as soon as she started lying down, whines piteously, and Korra breaks the kiss with a little laugh.]
Mocha, be quiet.
[With another little whine, the dog jumps up onto the foot of the bed and curls up stubbornly. She contemplates kicking him off, but a glance out the window reminds her that she really should get some sleep. She has an early shift at the Welcome Center.
So instead, she presses another kiss to his lips.]
Stay?
no subject
All right.
[ The raspy words vibrate with a quiet trepidation, which he tries to force down. He lays a hand on her body, under her breasts; not a silent demand for anything more. Just for the contact. Listening to the steady cadence of her heartbeat, a strange thrill pulses through him, a peculiar closeness seeming to crackle darkly in the air between them, palpable even though he can't see Korra's face. He knows he ought to be wrapped around Pai, right now, sleeping the sleep of a well-fed, well-fought soldier. But for the past week, sleep has advanced and receded many times and finally pulled him down into a tense, trapped alertness. His dreams are grisly, phantasmagoric -- his mind containing fantastic netherworlds of bloodshed and sadism. They seep out in disturbing ways. Some night he awakens to find his hands curled loosely around Pai's neck, like she's an enemy. Other times, his eyes flutter open to find himself wrapped too-tightly around her, as if trying to protect her from a mortar blast. ]
[ He knows, with the secrecy of a premonition, that his nightmares are worsening. He's not sure why. But he doesn't tell Pai about it. Better to give her one less Hei-issue to puzzle out. ]
[ He won't sleep here, either. He knows that. Too risky. But it's enough to have Korra closeby. To scooch nearer, entwining their legs, and to parse out the tiny chemical changes fizzing around her, as she drops away in his arms. ]