chinese russian assassin bbies

[anatural]

[It's been a long day of babysitting.

Sure, the baby is ridiculously well-behaved for an infant. But it's still a baby. It drools, and poops, and needs food, and can't talk or do ANYTHING interesting. That's probably the worst part. If Korra could actually play with the little thing, she'd be happy as a clam. But funny noises and silly faces get old after awhile. Tamping down her natural energy and making sure all of her attention was on the infant takes a lot of effort.

When Hei and Chekov get home, they'll find their baby and their Avatar snoozing on the couch.]

Comments

[candothat]

[At least the child is an adorable child. Considering his fathers, though, it's almost surprising that he isn't fully self-sufficient already.

Chekov beats Hei home (he won't admit to being somewhat worried about leaving Korra in charge of a small child) and is immensely pleased to see Korra and the baby undamaged and napping. Undamaged is always a good thing. Not that he expected anything bad to happen, but, in a place where babies can show up in the most biologically improbable ways, one never knows.

He crouches on the ground next to the couch.] Are you both asleep? Korra? Dima?

[mortemscintilla]

[ There is no fucking angle in which this scenario makes sense. Never mind Hei's personal suspicion that he's sterile -- he's been in environments that'd set off a slew of Geiger counters on a good day, been subject to everything from unrelenting stress to malnutrition to brutal levels of physical exertion. Nevermind that if there were ever a litmus paper for parenting skills he'd fall securely on the acidic-red scale in terms of acceptability. Nevermind that he doesn't tell Pavel that adoption is on the edges of his mind because he's not sure he has the capacity to be around a child, because family in a non-workable concept for him. ]

[ It always has been, since Pai vanished. ]

[ Stepping past the door, he's surprised to see Pavel already there. The baby -- he goes by no other name in Hei's mind -- is still intact. Korra is holding him and looking, Hei thinks dryly, like the sister-mother of all the universe. She and Pavel should be the parents. Not me. Very quietly, he sets the groceries -- diapers, wipes, formula, powders, foods included -- on the table. To Pavel, ]

I was sure the place would be on fire within the hour.

[candothat]

[Sense isn't necessary, not in a universe that's prone to curses and revels in impossibility. What matters is that the child is; that entitles him to care and attention. (And, in all honesty, Chekov rather likes the idea of being a father. It's not an opportunity that he would have expected to have, either in the City or at home, and he's not going to let Hei's reluctance to participate detract from the experience.)]

Do you have so little faith in Korra's ability to care for a child? [Pavel carefully removes Dmitri--the baby needed a name, after all--from the Avatar's arms. The little boy stirs in his sleep, but doesn't wake.]

[mortemscintilla]

She's barely done being a child herself.

[ So, for that matter, is Pavel. But Hei knows he couldn't attempt the same unfussy ease with which the younger man lifts that impossibly tiny form away from Korra. Pavel likes kids. More importantly, he's good with them. Hei, on the other hand, wouldn't know where to start. He's not built for that sort of delicacy and patience -- not without reason. With a cool eye, he catalogues the baby's face, trying to figure out what he got from Hei and what he got from Pavel. But he dismisses it five seconds later. It's useless when babies are so round and still-forming. ]

[ Letting Pavel handle the (unenviable) task of putting Dimitri away, he busies himself with unloading the groceries. A final item -- almost a concession that he's not completely indifferent to the kid -- is a toy. ]

[candothat]

[Pavel's response to Hei's assessment is little more than an amused shake of his head. If age had anything to do with an individual's ability to take care of a baby--but they both know what a poor indicator of skill age is.

As Hei puts things away, Pavel tucks the sleeping child into bed. It's difficult to determine which of his fathers the curly-haired, dark-eyed baby favors, and even harder to guess what sort of person the boy will become. He'll be a genius, undoubtedly, and a stargazer. Chekov looks forward to the day when Dimitri is old enough to appreciate the beauty of the night sky and the intricacies of stellar nucleosynthesis. Perhaps Hei will be more comfortable with their son (their son--it's still a bizarre notion) when he's older, and maybe the three of them will do a convincing impression of a family someday.

The thought almost makes Pavel laugh but, when he leaves Dimitri to his sleep and catches Hei unpacking a toy, it doesn't seem wholly improbable.] You're planning to make a music prodigy of Dima? [Even as he addresses Hei, Pavel weighs the pros and cons of waking Korra. After living with a baby for a little while, he has come to appreciate the value of uninterrupted sleep too much to rob others of it.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's not Korra's age that gives Hei pause. It's the sheltered life she's lived. Dissembling, tact, poise, calculation -- she hasn't honed any of the double-edged talents that are synonymous with adulthood. In that respect she's not too different from Pavel. Sometimes Hei sees that faraway look in Pavel's eyes -- spinning star-spangled plans for Dimitri, no doubt -- and can't help but think the baby's ended up with an affectionate playmate more than a parent. ]

[ Not that it matters. In his opinion, it's already clear who the baby -- never their baby, it's too soon for that -- favors most. There are times when, given a free choice, Dimitri will reach for Pavel first. Times where Hei's irritable mutterings and rockings don't quiet the boy's crying, but he's soothed as soon as Pavel picks him up. Hei won't pretend not to understand why. It's not just a heartbeat and a warm body that are key. It's an aura that you're at ease with the child. ]

[ To Pavel's question, ] The garden-variety nursery rhymes seemed too tame for him. [ His voice is quieter than usual, out of consideration for the zonked out baby and Avatar. Hei's always been a light sleeper -- never snatching more than a few hours of rest at night. The post-midnight hours are when he's his most alert. Perhaps for that reason, when he's the only one awake in the house at three a.m. his ambivalence around Dimitri fades. Gathering the fussing infant from his crib, drifting with him through the predawn silence, he experiences an unsettling sense of calm. ]

[ There's something so stupidly, self-absorbedly honest about a child. You can't help but relax your own shields in response. ]

[anatural]

[Korra stirs a little when the door opens, murmurs faint protest/relief when Dmitri is taken away, but doesn't actually wake. She readjusts herself on the couch and lets out a little snore. She's not going to wake up unless somebody makes her.]

[candothat]

[Maybe Dima does have a playmate rather than a proper father in Pavel, but that doesn't mean he can't grow up happily. Nothing--not Hei's apparent bewilderment with the situation, nothing--will prevent the Russian from providing the best care for the child that he can. He's been reading about children. He can handle this.]

If you say so. [That's an easy enough concession to make. He's not going to protest anything Hei does to involve himself in Dimitri's life.

Pavel plucks a folded blanket from the back of the couch, shakes it out, and drapes it over the snoozing Avatar. He hesitates long enough to wonder whether or not he should be concerned about the fact that he is emulating his grandmother before asking:] Should we wake her, or let her sleep?

[mortemscintilla]

[ If Hei harbors any skepticism about the effectiveness of book-learning versus practicality -- the nitty-gritty minutiae of dirty-diapers, colic, rashes, spit-up on nice shirts -- he doesn't say so. But in his experience, theory and practice have little in common. The former can offer you guidelines. A framework. But the experience is something you have to own by yourself. That said, perhaps it's telling that he has more faith in Pavel than in himself. Hei doesn't have the capacity to cradle something delicate and alive in his palms and nurture it. He's not built for it anymore. In many ways, the baby gives him what even Pai couldn't: innocence. His, and therefore, Hei's own. Except that's an illusion. You can't get back what's lost. ]

[ (That doesn't mean, though, that Hei's not trying.) ]

[ The expression on his face -- a mix of tired and dubious and amused -- should say just how quaint he finds the blanket-wrapping, and how much he's not an advocate for waking Korra up. ]

Not unless you want to start an awful chain reaction.

[ Face it. Korra isn't exactly a whispering churchmouse. Get her too loud, and she'll wake Dima up too. They can kiss all peace and quiet goodbye. ]

[candothat]

[If nothing else, knowledge gained from research is a useful starting point. Pavel certainly feels more capable of taking care of a child after reading about it, and that illusion alone makes the process of gaining firsthand experience simpler. That said, parenting comes fairly easily. Maybe it's because Chekov's a quick learner; maybe it has more to do with having a naturally helpful personality. Maybe--just maybe--Pavel is benefited by his own proximity to childhood.

Whatever the reason, Hei is not allowed to find him quaint.

He's not wrong about Korra, though awful chain reaction might be a bit of an exaggeration of the possible consequences of waking her. Peace and quiet are both valuable commodities. There's no need to risk throwing them out when it's not absolutely necessary.]

No, I would like to avoid a chain reaction of Chernobyl proportions. [Two can play the exaggeration game.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ (He is allowed if it's true.) ]

[ Hei isn't an advocate of teenage parenting. Or parenting in general. But it's irrefutable -- the younger you are, the easier it is to keep up with a child, or to relate to one. He observes that in Pavel and Korra's bright prattle and their easygoing concern for Dima. Granted, Hei is hardly over the hill himself. Barely 23. But he's not built for this domesticity. Even when he and Dima are getting along, there's still an inexplicable longing -- to be unencumbered, to be out in the Underground cracking necks, to never see -- or smell -- another diaper. Is that normal? He's convinced he's a Bad Parent. A bad, emotionally-stunted, psychologically detached, impatient parent who'd rather be up all night killing unspeakable things than doddering all day over his curly-pated darling. ]

[ Carefully, he settles on the arm of the couch. Leans over the snoozing Korra, regarding her almost-fondly for a moment. Then -- ]

No. Not Chernobyl. [ Because two can play at that game -- ] I was thinking more along the lines of Fukushima Daiichi. [ -- but only one can win. ]